Big Nose

big nose

I walk up to three Japanese girls and say ‘Kanpai’. They turn in surprise and laugh, before we all clink glasses and take a shlurp from our drinks. The girl immediately to my left then looks at me and goes ‘hana takai! sugoi eeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhh’, and of course whenever one person here goes ‘ehhhhhhhhhhhhh’ it’s as contagious as the plague and so the other two girls join in quickly, ‘eeeeeeeehhhhhhhhh’, and eventually I even join in because I don’t know what else to do.

‘Hana Takai’ sort of means tall nose, but the jist of what she said is , ‘wow his nose is really big, amazing eeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhh’. I’m in Japan, one of the (if not the) most polite countries in the world, and within 3 seconds of saying hello to someone I am being called out on my big nose. But I’m not surprised, in fact, I almost knew that this girl would do it. Was this because I sussed her out before I said hello and could see that she was the blunt and bolshy type? Was it because I was feeling that my nose was particularly big that day? Just how did this modern day Poirot know? Well like any good mystery, the answer is simple; because people fucking tell me every fucking time I talk to them.

In Japan a big nose is considered ‘bery handusome’. Upon learning that I began to understand that people were not being rude nor abrupt, but were thinking that they were giving me a great compliment whenever they all pointed at my nose and huddled round me to inspect it.

But back at home a big nose, is well, a big nose. I’m not sure if it’s particularly ugly or attractive, but it’s something you’d point at and go ‘haha, you have a big nose’, and is generally an insult reserved for the French. Hence when the Japanese point at my nose, I can’t help but be more in tune with the kind of insulting implications it carries where I was brought up, and in turn find it difficult to be in tune with the positive inferences that they are intending.

It’s a strange situation having people thinking that they are being very polite to me, that they are complimenting me greatly, and yet not realising that in actuality they are just giving me a massive insecurity that I will burden for the rest of my days back in the west until the inevitable appointment with the L.A. cosmetics team.

About Sam

Hi I'm Sam and I write here exclusively at Samuel's Travels. Exclusively as by and large no-one wants me writing anywhere else. Please enjoy yourself while reading.
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5 Responses to Big Nose

  1. Dan Cat says:

    Gonzo dude…gonzo. Love it 🙂

  2. Sam says:

    Dan Cat! I love you man, I don’t know who you are but I love you. I may be very hungover from my boss making me down 6 beers and 2 tequila shots in one hour last night, and perhaps the resultant spaced out feeling is causing this sudden outburst of emotion, but your the man. I just needed to say that.

    Having someone who doesn’t know me continually reading and supporting all this crazyness, makes all this crazyness worthwhile. I do it all for you Dan Cat.

    As long as your reading this blog, this blog will continue.

  3. Dan Cat says:

    Sam, this message brightened up my Sunday. I’m not sure who I am either, so that makes two of us.

    No, you’re the man! You are an inspiration dude. You are a perfect example of going with the flow, something I’ve done all my life too. It makes for the most rewarding life, in fact I’d go as far as saying it’s the only way to live. It’s just a journey, a ride, there’s no destination. See what the universe puts in front of you. Notice the synchronicites (coincidences) because they let you know that you are aligned and in flow. (Look up Carl Jung who coined the phrase.) Don’t read into these too much, just acknowledge them. If you aren’t noticing coincidences then change up! Next chapter. Oh, and be kind and helpful to everyone you meet. The universe will pay you back tenfold. It’s really pretty simple.

    ‘Everything is right in front of you, you just have to say hello.’

  4. Pingback: Sam’s 10 things to know about Japan before you go | Samuel's Travels

  5. Pingback: 10 things to know about Japan before you go | Samuel's Travels

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